That’s what I found myself screaming at my television at the end of the latest This Is Us episode, “Clooney” — and be warned, spoilers ahead. The episode is not, in fact, about George Clooney, nor about the late William’s cat, Clooney. Rather, the episode is about a trip to the mall where Rebecca asks Jack to remind her to pick up batteries. They forget to pick up batteries, and guess what? This directly relates to how Jack dies. WHY? Because Rebecca needed the batteries to put them in the smoke detector in the house.
Are you getting that? Rebecca needed batteries for the smoke detector, and soon, in the near future on This Is Us, Jack is going to die in a house fire because the smoke detector doesn’t have batteries. S-C-R-E-A-M-I-N-G.
While we still don’t know how this Pearson house fire comes to be — there’s a good theory surrounding the fact that it might be the Best Washing Machine In the World’s fault — we’ve now got this new piece to the puzzle. The episode begins with Jack doing some woodworking, because he’s building Rebecca an entertainment center (awww). A few episodes ago, we saw Jack fight with some faulty wiring in the basement after a fuse blew. Any of these things could be what starts the fire in the house, and all of them are making me anxious and nervous. We know Jack’s death is coming, and This Is Us is teasing us with the worst clues in the world. Because one way or another, this puzzle leads to Jack’s death.
And, worse yet, we’re inching so close to it. “Clooney” features Kevin in a cast. Randall goes to the mall to ask out the redheaded girl we’ll see him with the night Jack dies. Kate’s got her dog. We are terrifyingly near this horrific event, and I’ve never wanted a show to just STOP, so I can hold onto it in the here and now for as long as possible. If This Is Us would just STOP, then nothing else can happen, and Jack doesn’t die.
But it’s going to continue on, no matter how broken I am right now. If only Jack and Rebecca had remembered to pick up some BATTERIES. I don’t think I will ever be okay ever again.